BMI

Deciding to become a parent is a big frickin' deal.  There are lots of changes that happen in your life.  If you are the person whose biology makes it your job to physically grow and then give birth to the baby, then it's more than just your world that changes.  Because the whole cycle of pregnancy, birth, and motherhood really does a number on you physically.

I'm not just talking about labor, although a little over 11 hours of physical exertion and pain without major pain medication (that's right, no epidural for me) will definitely mess you up.  I'm talking about the stretching of your skin.  The loosening of your joints.  The sheer lack of muscle tone in places where you don't realize how important muscle tone is until after you've managed to push a baby out of your body.

For the first few weeks after giving birth, it felt like my legs had been taken off and then put back on by someone not quite familiar enough with the process to get it right.  I still have moments where I'll stand up, take a few steps, and then realize that my hips don't quite seem to be fitting me properly.  And let's not even get started on the decidedly prominent gut I now have.  Instead, let's focus on how my feet are at least a half size bigger, show no intentions of going back to their previous size, and definitely do not fit into most of my dress shoes anymore.  That is just not fair.

So what's a new mommy to do?  Well, like any sensible person I should be eating healthy foods, watching my food intake, and getting some exercise.  Surprisingly, given how oddly my body feels like it's fitted together, that last one is the easiest one to do so far.  I've been walking over my lunch break or, recently, I've gone to the campus gym and done a few laps in the pool.  Speaking of which, I should probably buy a new swimsuit.  My old ones don't seem to fit me quite right anymore...

Aside from my newly oddly assembled body, my biggest problem is my weight.  I currently weigh a lot.  Like, an unhealthy amount.  I'm about 5'9" tall.  The USDA says that my weight should be somewhere between 128 and 169 pounds to have a healthy BMI.  Unfortunately for me, my weight of 206 (BMI of 30.4) puts me in the obese category.  That's right, mother lovers.  I am obese.  That makes me ashamed, sad, and mildly terrified.

The really sad part of that is that I suffer from classic human myopia.  I'm mildly terrified (emphasis on mildly) because the heart disease, diabetes, and other diseases of the obese haven't affected me yet.  I am, however, really ashamed and super sad that I can no longer fit into any of the nice clothes I used to wear.  Which just goes to show you that human beings are kinda stupid in terms of what we let bother us.

I am really really hoping that once I don't have to work full-time anymore, I can fit in more exercise and take more time to eat like a person who gives a crud about their health.  And I know that BMI is just one way to measure health, and it's not even the best way, but it is a pretty good gauge of whether or not you should be worried.  And I should definitely be flippin' worried.

So what am I going to do?  I'm going to focus on exercise, since that is the thing I like the most.  I'm going to keep working hard to eat my three vegetables per day.  I'm going to hope that I can lose the weight and get somewhere near that 128 to 169 weight range.  I haven't had a weight in that range since law school.  Early law school.  And now I have to get back there.

This is not going to be easy.  And I'm probably not going to like it all the time.  I'm definitely not going to be able to eat cookies like I currently do.  Sigh.  I like cookies.  I'm going to miss the cookies.

But here's to realizing my vision of the future, the one where I'm running marathons and hiking mountains again.  Because as much as I'm going to miss cookies, I think I'd miss marathons and mountains more.

Take care, and I'll write again soon!