Just Drifting Along

Sometimes, I'm a bit slow on the uptake.  For example, it took me until today to realize why failing the Texas bar exam may actually have been a Very Good Thing.  To whit:  It has forced me to stop and take a serious look at what the heck I want to do with my life.

I touched on this a bit the last time I wrote, which I know is now quite some time ago.  But I've been really digging into it lately.  When one spends all day having one-sided conversations with a 7-month old, one tends to get a bit introspective.  I feel very much like I'm tired of just drifting along.  I want some kind of purpose, or at least a list of goals.  I want something to work towards; I just needed to figure out what that would be.

To be fair, just drifting along has been very very good to me.  It has landed me the perfect husband, the world's most amazing baby, and three cats that don't always misbehave.  I've traveled outside the U.S., run multiple marathons, saved Illinois high school mock trial, and done no small amount of good in the world.  But currently, I've been feeling a bit... aimless.

Had I passed the bar exam, I probably would have just taken the first attorney gig that came my way.  I would have done an acceptable job, but nothing to write home about.  Unless I am really excited about something, I usually won't care enough to really invest myself in it.  Then, I would have given it up without any sorrow when we moved away from this town and started the whole process over again, without ever really thinking about what I really want to do.

So what do I want to do?  I want someone to pay me to do mock trial.  Maybe I get a job teaching at some college and they pay me to coach their mock trial team.  Maybe I get a job as the Director of Advocacy at some law school and I run their Trial Ad programs.  Maybe I get a job running a state's high school mock trial program.  Maybe I get a job running a national moot court competition.

I would jump at the chance to do any of those things.  And I would be really freaking good at any of those things.  Being away from mock trial has taught me that I need mock trial in my life.  And teaching LSAT classes has reminded me of how much I adore teaching.  I mean, seriously, the above list pretty much outlines my dream jobs.

Thus I have accomplished Step One in the Process of Realizing Your Dreams:  Identify your dreams and write them down.  It sounds much less inspirational when you get all business-like with it, but it does help the transition to reality proceed a bit more apace.

Now I just have to go about figuring out what Step Two is.  If anyone has any tips, I would be more than happy to hear them...

Until next time, my friends.  Take care, and I'll write again soon.